The year 2009 was nothing like I imagined it would be. I can remember that a year ago at this time, I was as broken as I am now, but in a much different way...
I had such aspirations about who I would become and what I would do and who I would please. Now I am indeed a changed person, but not the one I expected to be, nor one I recognize or understand.
In 2009 I lived more deeply and fully and recklessly than ever before in my life. There is something to be said for that. There is something to be said for taking chances, making changes, and making choices. Perhaps even for choices that are made unconciously or thoughtlessly? But living, like any battle, cannot be lived through without wounds. This year, life has wounded me. It happens to all of us; I realize this. The feelings I'm experiencing are nothing special or new in the way of the world. But wounds are an individual experience. The healing of them is nothing that anyone can live for me or give to me.
I've learned to live. Now it's time to learn to heal.
(Title taken from the Anberlin song "Glass To The Arson")
2 comments:
Life will continue to throw unexpected curve balls at you. It’s how you handle them and who you become based on those struggles that will define you. Remember that you are young and now is the time to be hurt. Now is the time to learn. Now is the time to figure out just what you want in life and don’t let anyone get in your way.
Trust me, there’s nothing worse then having to discover all of this after you have committed yourself to a life style. Let God mold you and refine you. Trust in the Lord and allow him to be your light in this dark world.
I'll throw some prayers your way.
xoxo
awww.. honey i feel like your reading my mind.. that second paragraph touched my heart, because it's exactly how i feel. It's amazing how we're both going through a lot of the same struggles at this time and that we can connect through our blogs. pretty sweet. i hope 2010 brings you much happiness and healing! :)
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