I'm not usually home from school this early. I usually hang out, go to meetings, study, and wait around for Shannon to take me home. Today, however, I was supposed to have an appointment with my doctor in PA...but the beltway was so backed up so we knew were wouldn't get there in time, so we came home.
I'm sick with some sort of cold/congestion/crap thing (not what I was originally going to the doctor for)...my chest hurts terribly and I'm coughing, and it's a dry cough and it's really painful. But it's getting really bad so hopefully the worst is almost over. I'm drinking some tea with cayenne pepper in it...I can feel all the germs dying as it washes down my throat, lol.
I'm tired, but I really don't want to waste the lovely weather. I was thinking about laying outside for a bit and then taking a nap. I skipped math class this morning because I knew I'd be tired and behind anyway, so I'll try to motivate myself to do some homework problems and figure out where I should be on that..
Speaking of school work, I got two papers back in English class today, and they were both A's!! One of them was a re-write of a paper that was originally a C, and the other was the paper I wrote in one night! That's pretty much fantastic, if I do say so myself. :-D
Mk, well I hope you enjoyed your unexpected midweek dose of Debbie. Stay healthy, kiddos!
March 31, 2009
March 28, 2009
Because I can.
I don't own an Ipod (though I want to) or play music anywhere except through the CD player in my room...except lately I've been using Pandora.com a lot. It seems to read my mood quite accurately. My brain has been consuming much of the following:
This past week was incredibly crazy for me! Barnstormers hosted a coffeehouse on Tuesday, which meant I had shopping, organizing, rehearsing, and stressing to do. The event itself did not go as I hoped it would; the theatre presence at school is just...not at all there. But we learned about what kind of crowd we're hosting to and what we need to change.
Besides that, I had two papers due, and three evenings of rehearsal, and work to make-up in math to try to bring up my midterm grade. On Monday I performed a monologue for acting class, and that was most definitely a highlight of the week. The feedback I got on that from Carl and my classmates was extremely encouraging and flattering. :) (I performed the monologue again, unplanned, at the coffeehouse to a surprisingly receptive audience.)
Wednesday night I didn't go to bed because I had a paper due the next morning, and had gone out with friends after rehearsal. So when I got home, I wrote a paper comparing Christianity and Islam from midnight to 5am, slept for an hour, went to class, worked on it for another hour, and turned it in at 11am. That afternoon I ushered for and watched a two-and-hour-half play, and that evening I got my second wind and went to bed around 10pm. Friday I had off work and school...oh bliss. :)
I realized I'm incredibly distracted and busy and could probably be less so if I decided to be. I'm choosing to be as such because I feel like there are so many things I haven't experienced and done when I should have, and now is my time to do them. I feel like I'm testing my limits and capabilites basically. I'm only young once, and I love the feeling of living, even when it exhausts me. Even more so, actually.
But on that note, I do realize the importance of healthy priorities such as rest and good grades. I'm determined this weekend to concentrate on the things I've been neglecting, which would include my family, myself, and studying.
- Jack Johnson
- The Goo Goo Dolls
- James Taylor
- The Beatles
- KT Tunstall
- Matt Nathansan
- Matt Kearney
This past week was incredibly crazy for me! Barnstormers hosted a coffeehouse on Tuesday, which meant I had shopping, organizing, rehearsing, and stressing to do. The event itself did not go as I hoped it would; the theatre presence at school is just...not at all there. But we learned about what kind of crowd we're hosting to and what we need to change.
Besides that, I had two papers due, and three evenings of rehearsal, and work to make-up in math to try to bring up my midterm grade. On Monday I performed a monologue for acting class, and that was most definitely a highlight of the week. The feedback I got on that from Carl and my classmates was extremely encouraging and flattering. :) (I performed the monologue again, unplanned, at the coffeehouse to a surprisingly receptive audience.)
Wednesday night I didn't go to bed because I had a paper due the next morning, and had gone out with friends after rehearsal. So when I got home, I wrote a paper comparing Christianity and Islam from midnight to 5am, slept for an hour, went to class, worked on it for another hour, and turned it in at 11am. That afternoon I ushered for and watched a two-and-hour-half play, and that evening I got my second wind and went to bed around 10pm. Friday I had off work and school...oh bliss. :)
I realized I'm incredibly distracted and busy and could probably be less so if I decided to be. I'm choosing to be as such because I feel like there are so many things I haven't experienced and done when I should have, and now is my time to do them. I feel like I'm testing my limits and capabilites basically. I'm only young once, and I love the feeling of living, even when it exhausts me. Even more so, actually.
But on that note, I do realize the importance of healthy priorities such as rest and good grades. I'm determined this weekend to concentrate on the things I've been neglecting, which would include my family, myself, and studying.
March 22, 2009
retro musings.
I was with a friend wandering around a Toys 'R Us today, and decided to find out what Barbie dolls look like nowadays. I have a couple Barbies from the 60's which belonged to my mom, and then one or two of my own from the late 90's. I waited a long time to own Barbies; I think a good friend gave me one for the 11th birthday, and shortly after that my grandmother gave me my mom's old ones. I still own them all 'cause I can't let them go. After seeing today what Barbie looks like, I will certainly be holding onto mine. She's so ugly!! Her body is tinier, and her head is bigger. The material of her head looks incredibly cheap and squishy- like if dropped once on the pavement or stepped on by a little shoe she'd be toast. She's wearing more eye make-up and her lips are bigger. Barbie looks like a Bratz doll's big sister, basically. It was disheartening! :-p I mean, she's always been an unrealistic model of beauty...but I think Barbie has crossed into from beauty to bizzare if you ask me.
Ok, today I tackled toys. I have commentaries involving music in mind for my next post... g'night. <3
Ok, today I tackled toys. I have commentaries involving music in mind for my next post... g'night. <3
March 21, 2009
I do love roses.
For the past couple days, this song has made me want to cry: "Everything" by Stereo Fuse. Typically, I cry a lot. For various happy/sad/dumb reasons. Funny thing, in the past month I could count on one hand the amount of times I have cried, and yet logically I have more reason than ever to do so. I'm so tangled up that I'm numb, I guess. But the good thing about being tangled up is that eventually I will untie all the knots and find what my rope is made of, and where it leads to.
I used to think of myself as fairly healthy person, emotionally speaking. However, that perspective is changing slowly, in a disconcerting fashion. For instance, I'm very wrapped up in the idea of being strong, and consider being vulnerable a weakness. I have this idea that my vulnerability will get exploited. When I catch myself being open with someone, I regret it. As Shannon put it, I don't like people in my bubble. How will I have healthy relationships with that attitude? How will I appreciate people and be appreciated in return if I don't want to let people in?
Also, I'm discovering I have big issues with control. I'm bad at controlling myself, but I'm scared of being controlled by others. I guess as a Christian, my answer to this should be that only God has control and He knows best anyway. But people are instruments of control, and we all choose to wield it in some way.
I'm programmed to care for others before I care for myself. I'm finding it very hard to say nice things about myself or do things that are strictly for me, because I always find fulfillment in the affirmation and comfort of others. I have watched an example of this all my life, and it's going to be a tough thing, learning what it means to put myself first in a loving way.
*Sigh* well putting all that in my blog feels a bit weird. But I know people who love me read this and might have some advice, and if you don't love me, why are you bothering to read my business? :-p
Things of lighter vernacular:
IH2 rehearsals have started! We read through the first act on Monday, and steady Mon/Wed/Fri rehearsals start this week. I'm very pleased with everyone we cast, and I'm looking forward to a great time of hard work, getting to know the actors, and watching the show take shape. Working with Anderson is as much of a pleasure as ever, and our friendship has been deepening both through and outside the show.
After almost exactly a year, I no longer work for Execuhome Realty. The economy hit the company hard throughout the winter, and Linda was forced to let me go yesterday. I will miss having her as a boss; I don't think I could have asked for better, but besides the friendship of a few of the agents (whose numbers I have anyway) I won't miss that job. I will either work more hours for AMF, pursue a couple opportunities that have come a long recently, or just try to get by with less hours until IH2 is done in June. I'm exhausted all the time, physically and otherwise, so that might be the smartest option.
Anberlin is coming back to Baltimore!!!! I think Shannon, Jeremy, and I are going..if you're interested in joining us let me know! It's at Sonar on June 21st (a Sunday night)
I consider writing a long and thoughtful blog as having done something nice for myself. :) Now I must be getting back to homework. Enjoy the weekend!
I used to think of myself as fairly healthy person, emotionally speaking. However, that perspective is changing slowly, in a disconcerting fashion. For instance, I'm very wrapped up in the idea of being strong, and consider being vulnerable a weakness. I have this idea that my vulnerability will get exploited. When I catch myself being open with someone, I regret it. As Shannon put it, I don't like people in my bubble. How will I have healthy relationships with that attitude? How will I appreciate people and be appreciated in return if I don't want to let people in?
Also, I'm discovering I have big issues with control. I'm bad at controlling myself, but I'm scared of being controlled by others. I guess as a Christian, my answer to this should be that only God has control and He knows best anyway. But people are instruments of control, and we all choose to wield it in some way.
I'm programmed to care for others before I care for myself. I'm finding it very hard to say nice things about myself or do things that are strictly for me, because I always find fulfillment in the affirmation and comfort of others. I have watched an example of this all my life, and it's going to be a tough thing, learning what it means to put myself first in a loving way.
*Sigh* well putting all that in my blog feels a bit weird. But I know people who love me read this and might have some advice, and if you don't love me, why are you bothering to read my business? :-p
Things of lighter vernacular:
IH2 rehearsals have started! We read through the first act on Monday, and steady Mon/Wed/Fri rehearsals start this week. I'm very pleased with everyone we cast, and I'm looking forward to a great time of hard work, getting to know the actors, and watching the show take shape. Working with Anderson is as much of a pleasure as ever, and our friendship has been deepening both through and outside the show.
After almost exactly a year, I no longer work for Execuhome Realty. The economy hit the company hard throughout the winter, and Linda was forced to let me go yesterday. I will miss having her as a boss; I don't think I could have asked for better, but besides the friendship of a few of the agents (whose numbers I have anyway) I won't miss that job. I will either work more hours for AMF, pursue a couple opportunities that have come a long recently, or just try to get by with less hours until IH2 is done in June. I'm exhausted all the time, physically and otherwise, so that might be the smartest option.
Anberlin is coming back to Baltimore!!!! I think Shannon, Jeremy, and I are going..if you're interested in joining us let me know! It's at Sonar on June 21st (a Sunday night)
I consider writing a long and thoughtful blog as having done something nice for myself. :) Now I must be getting back to homework. Enjoy the weekend!
March 14, 2009
Neglectful
wow..last entry March 2nd? Sorry guys.
/I've been asking myself all sorts of questions...and the answers are coming slowly. I've been discovering it's ok to ask questions and not know the answers. It's ok to be selfish, in the right way. (Yes, there is a "right" way to be selfish. Anyone who has ever given, emotionally or physically, until they were drained probably understands what I mean.)
It's also ok to not be who you thought you were, as long as you are pursuing who God made you to be. It's ok to say no, even when other people don't like it. It's ok to say yes, even when you're scared to. And it's ok to not know what you're doing, as long as you keep asking and don't give up./
Spring is tantilizing me! I really enjoyed the beautiful and warm-ish days last week..I can't wait to break out the sundresses and shorts again! Midterms are this coming week, but spring break is still three weeks away. Time is flying, and I'm just enjoying the ride. :-/ :)
I received the Pell grant from school!! $1,000 that I can put towards whatever I want! I'm going to use it to open a savings account and build on it. I plan to put myself through school next fall, and save for a car over the summer. I did my taxes (for the first time) and I'm waiting on my refund checks...even though they pretty much the size of what I would make cleaning or babysitting, every little bit helps!
/I've been asking myself all sorts of questions...and the answers are coming slowly. I've been discovering it's ok to ask questions and not know the answers. It's ok to be selfish, in the right way. (Yes, there is a "right" way to be selfish. Anyone who has ever given, emotionally or physically, until they were drained probably understands what I mean.)
It's also ok to not be who you thought you were, as long as you are pursuing who God made you to be. It's ok to say no, even when other people don't like it. It's ok to say yes, even when you're scared to. And it's ok to not know what you're doing, as long as you keep asking and don't give up./
Spring is tantilizing me! I really enjoyed the beautiful and warm-ish days last week..I can't wait to break out the sundresses and shorts again! Midterms are this coming week, but spring break is still three weeks away. Time is flying, and I'm just enjoying the ride. :-/ :)
I received the Pell grant from school!! $1,000 that I can put towards whatever I want! I'm going to use it to open a savings account and build on it. I plan to put myself through school next fall, and save for a car over the summer. I did my taxes (for the first time) and I'm waiting on my refund checks...even though they pretty much the size of what I would make cleaning or babysitting, every little bit helps!
March 2, 2009
"Local Closings"
Haha, I just realized this is my first-ever snow day! When I was home-schooled my mom would occasionally let us go sledding instead of doing schoolwork, but this my first official "School's-closed, let's-go-back-to-bed-day!" I was upset at first because I planned to get so much club stuff done today and was really wanted to see my friends..but it was for the best. I went to bed at 10pm last night, woke up occasionally to a text or a phone call (anderson had been up all night and was flipping out we couldn't meet and get production stuff done today) and was in bed till about noon! I feel so lazy but so refreshed. :)
So I'll finish up some homework I didn't do over the weekend (what timing ;)) and clean. Maybe head to school tonight with a friend to see a documentary that our PTK chapter and Honors Society is hosting. Speaking of that, on Friday I got my letter of official acceptance into the Honors Program! In May we're having an induction ceremony, and the very next night is the Student Government Association banquet that I get to attend as a club president. *oh ah excitement* and all that good stuff. ;)
Some of you know I have been going through a really challenging time of growth and change in my life. I appreciate those of you who have been sincere in offering advice, love, prayer, and a listening ear. I'm surrounded by so many wonderful people that at other times I think I take for granted. :-* I need all the prayers and wisdom you've got to offer!
More later this week, hopefully. *~!Enjoy the snow!~*
So I'll finish up some homework I didn't do over the weekend (what timing ;)) and clean. Maybe head to school tonight with a friend to see a documentary that our PTK chapter and Honors Society is hosting. Speaking of that, on Friday I got my letter of official acceptance into the Honors Program! In May we're having an induction ceremony, and the very next night is the Student Government Association banquet that I get to attend as a club president. *oh ah excitement* and all that good stuff. ;)
Some of you know I have been going through a really challenging time of growth and change in my life. I appreciate those of you who have been sincere in offering advice, love, prayer, and a listening ear. I'm surrounded by so many wonderful people that at other times I think I take for granted. :-* I need all the prayers and wisdom you've got to offer!
More later this week, hopefully. *~!Enjoy the snow!~*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)