I'm outside on a beautiful summer evening, and I'm wearing shorts. :-D Every day is a party when you feel like yourself again!! :-)
I might change the title of my blog to "Chronicles of Short Girl". Thoughts? ;-)
On this same outing I'm pretty sure I squeezed Boyfriend's hand numb from fright as we walked along a narrow road flanked by woods (the path from which the above picture was taken). The evening breeze was creating lots of mysterious rustling noises in the lonely park, and I was sure someone was hiding, waiting to jump out at us! This is why I shouldn't watch so much of "The Unit". :-p
Last night I had an ephipany. (One that I've had multiple times, and then never really lived up to. Oh, how forgetful is [wo]man.) One of the main sources of frustration in my life currently could be my lack of direction, and my lack of initiative to find said direction. Also, by both choice and necessity in various ways, I am very reliant on others. Not to say we shouldn't rely on others. I'm all about community. But heck, I'm 24 years old, and in a lot of ways, going no where fast. *insert whining you've all heard in various forms before*
I know in theory what I need to do- take charge of my life. Which I have been doing in various ways, bit by bit for some time now. Yet I still feel like I'm failing; missing something; not doing enough, etc.
I have one main plan and one main plan only for my life. It's a plan that is one half my own and the other half one that I was taught I should carry out. But it's not looking like that plan is going to happen anytime soon. So what the heck am I going to do instead? Or in the mean time, at least?
Well, I have a confession to make about this month's obsessions: It was hard to settle on what to write about! With a lot more free time on my hands, I have been allowing lots (probably too much) of media to eat up my time. Within a couple weeks I watched an entire season of three different television shows! Said TV shows were Gilmore Girls (season 3), The Unit (season 1), and The Dick Van Dyke show (season 1). The last one is on Hulu, in its full five-season glory and it makes me giggle so hard and brightens my day! Adorable cast. :-)
I've also been listening non-stop to Skillet's "Awake" album. For a week or two in which I was really depressed and frustrated for no reason, listening to it somehow felt like a release. So I've been listening to it a lot (very loudly).
However, I have picked one thing to meaningfully present to you this month. Earlier this week, someone very close to me made a comment which I found demeaning and hurtful. Unintentionally (I think) they basically told me that theatre is of no value to life. Well, I'm a theatre major! I'm an actress! And like it or not, I look up to this person. I'm still so upset I haven't been able to tell them how much they hurt me. I've actually barely talked to them since the comment occurred. Well, out of that hurt a song called "Rose's Turn" from the musical Gypsycame to mind, and I've kept it close to my heart all week. Rose is "the ultimate show business mother" who put her dreams on hold for everyone else, but this song is her anthem of recognizing herself, her needs, and her personal demons. While the context of the story and who Rose was is very different than my life, I still identify with it. It's traditionally sung with such anger and passion that listening to it motivates me to stay true to one of my greatest loves-performing.
Here is the awesome Bernadette Peters singing "Rose's Turn" on the Tony Awards in 2003:
Well, someone tell me, when is it my turn?
Don't I get a dream for myself?
Starting now it's gonna be my turn.
Gangway, world, get off of my runway!
Starting now I bat a thousand!
This time, boys, I'm taking the bows and
everything's coming up Rose!
Happy Friday! I am definitely in a "T.G.I.F." mood! My supervisor was on vacation this week, and it was up to me to keep our front desk manned (er, womaned? :-p). Since summer session classes are few compared to the regular year, things have gotten a little lonely here. And then, I've gone home and pretty much watched TV by myself or slept every evening. But Friday is here, and tomorrow I have plans I am quite excited about, and then Sunday will be busy as well. Yay for summer weekends!
I didn't adjust too well at the end of May/beginning of June going from a very busy schedule of rehearsal and classes and studying and work and social obligations to, well...almost none of those things. I got downright depressed and moody for about a week, actually. However, a few exciting things did come along the way, including:
~my day spent as a movie extra!
~elections for our Phi Theta Kappa chapter (I am now Alpha Rho Psi's president for 2011-2012.)
~being team captain for Alpha Rho Psi's Relay for Life fund raiser (I organized all our logistics, stayed up all night, walked the track for hours, and we raised over $1500 and counting!)
~wearing dresses and shorts again in public and feeling completely normal about it :-D
This morning my good blogging friend Yelena had a post that greatly encouraged me. Contentment and patience and future plans have been something weighing heavily on both myself and Boyfriend lately. Yelena's post reminded me that life never does turn out "perfectly" or the way we plan it, but if we have faith and patience, it will turn out perfectly as designed for us as individuals. Check out "God, Why Did This Happen To Me?" if you have the time. :-) Also, Yelena's other recent entries will take your breath away as she is chronicling her tour of London!
I hope that wherever you are reading this from there is some beautiful sunshine you can go out and enjoy! And if not, make sunshine wherever you go. ;-)
To me, picking strawberries, cutting flowers, and taking pictures qualifies as playtime. <3
This is a wild miniature strawberry plant I have in the back yard. And isn't the gold and sapphire ring lovely? It was my mom's.
Lovely colours. The blue and white vase is one of my favourites!
Oh and...I have feet and legs again! This time last summer -even up to a few months ago- everything up to my knees excluding my toes were wrapped in bandages.
I'm not quite ready to go out beyond my home in leg-revealing clothing (too much scarring) but I'm sooo excited and grateful none the less to be getting my ivory skin back!
