The year 2009 was nothing like I imagined it would be. I can remember that a year ago at this time, I was as broken as I am now, but in a much different way...
I had such aspirations about who I would become and what I would do and who I would please. Now I am indeed a changed person, but not the one I expected to be, nor one I recognize or understand.
In 2009 I lived more deeply and fully and recklessly than ever before in my life. There is something to be said for that. There is something to be said for taking chances, making changes, and making choices. Perhaps even for choices that are made unconciously or thoughtlessly? But living, like any battle, cannot be lived through without wounds. This year, life has wounded me. It happens to all of us; I realize this. The feelings I'm experiencing are nothing special or new in the way of the world. But wounds are an individual experience. The healing of them is nothing that anyone can live for me or give to me.
I've learned to live. Now it's time to learn to heal.
(Title taken from the Anberlin song "Glass To The Arson")
December 30, 2009
December 27, 2009
Merry Christmas To Me
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Here's a shot of me and my favourite Christmas present. :-p On Christmas Eve we had a cozy day of wrapping presents, eating some delicious home-made stewed chicken, pak choi, and rice, watching "Up," and searching for neat holiday light displays in a neighborhood near my house. Oh, and taking pictures!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Nathan and Debbie. :-)
December 24, 2009
Return
To append my series of travel entries I wanted to say we made it home safely. :) Thanks for reading and for the friendly comments that were left!
The drive from Indiana to Maryland took about 14 hours, the weather was fair and the traffic light, and the only major disaster was dropping my iPod in a puddle of freezing water. :( It seems to have survived, however.
Today I am celebrating Christmas by being reunited with Nathan! :-D He's picking me up shortly and we have a nice time of holiday festivities planned.
Merry Christmas Eve!! May the Source of all warmth, light, and love be present in your life, today and always.
The drive from Indiana to Maryland took about 14 hours, the weather was fair and the traffic light, and the only major disaster was dropping my iPod in a puddle of freezing water. :( It seems to have survived, however.
Today I am celebrating Christmas by being reunited with Nathan! :-D He's picking me up shortly and we have a nice time of holiday festivities planned.
Merry Christmas Eve!! May the Source of all warmth, light, and love be present in your life, today and always.
The Heartland Discovered
The post-wedding festivities were just as nice as the former part of the trip. On Tuesday morning we gathered at my uncle and aunt's house to enjoy a huge and delicious brunch, look at the wedding pictures, and then send bride and groom off to the airpot on a sea of hugs and bubbles.
For rest of the day my family chatted with uncle, aunt, and cousin Michael, enjoying their home and getting a walking tour of the adorable town they live in. Francesville, Indiana has a railroad track running through it, a beautiful church (where my aunt pastors; their family lives in the parsonage next door), a drug store, a flower shop, a grocery, a post office, and not a single traffic light. The quiet streets were covered in snow and charm, and the people we met were so friendly as they went about their daily routine and welcomed us to their town.
Indiana left a very good impression on me, not just in the home of my family but everywhere we went- hotels, gas stations, and grocery stores alike. There is a reason why a section of America is called the heartland. When you go there it's like finding a warm, nourishing, and soft place that doesn't demand attention; it simply invites you in when you stop long enough to pay attention to it.
For rest of the day my family chatted with uncle, aunt, and cousin Michael, enjoying their home and getting a walking tour of the adorable town they live in. Francesville, Indiana has a railroad track running through it, a beautiful church (where my aunt pastors; their family lives in the parsonage next door), a drug store, a flower shop, a grocery, a post office, and not a single traffic light. The quiet streets were covered in snow and charm, and the people we met were so friendly as they went about their daily routine and welcomed us to their town.
Indiana left a very good impression on me, not just in the home of my family but everywhere we went- hotels, gas stations, and grocery stores alike. There is a reason why a section of America is called the heartland. When you go there it's like finding a warm, nourishing, and soft place that doesn't demand attention; it simply invites you in when you stop long enough to pay attention to it.
December 22, 2009
A Day of Unity
Despite the tiring events of the evening, I am decently awake considering it is 3AM. I find the more invested I am in an event, the harder time I have relaxing after it's over. Maybe something about Leah's wedding made an impression on me...
Beside the fact I generally love weddings, being at this particular wedding meant the world to me. I've always longed for more time with my blood relatives, but due to geographical distance we've been largely absent in each other's lives. Leah begged me to make it out to her wedding at all costs, and much to my satisfaction we did. It didn't matter our families had been apart for years; we came together to make a truly special event harmonious and memorable. There was nervous energy and running around and careful attention to detail and laughter over small moments that only families can appreciate. There was love and sincerity on the faces of the bride and groom; a love that is inspired not just by appreciation for each other, but by the God they serve. Their actions and words overflowed with gratefulness to us, their family.
Before the ceremony Leah was very nervous about the sundry details that weigh on a bride's mind, and Doug, the groom, was concerned about her being upset. My aunt came to tell him that his bride looked "beautiful." He sighed contently and smiled, and then immediately asked, "But is she happy?" Later during the reception as I was helping my aunt to pour punch, Leah stopped to look straight at her mother and say, "Everything is perfect. Thank you, so much."
Small moments like those remind me of the type of beauty and love I pray I learn to share with those in my life. Congratulations and blessings, Doug and Leah. :)
Beside the fact I generally love weddings, being at this particular wedding meant the world to me. I've always longed for more time with my blood relatives, but due to geographical distance we've been largely absent in each other's lives. Leah begged me to make it out to her wedding at all costs, and much to my satisfaction we did. It didn't matter our families had been apart for years; we came together to make a truly special event harmonious and memorable. There was nervous energy and running around and careful attention to detail and laughter over small moments that only families can appreciate. There was love and sincerity on the faces of the bride and groom; a love that is inspired not just by appreciation for each other, but by the God they serve. Their actions and words overflowed with gratefulness to us, their family.
Before the ceremony Leah was very nervous about the sundry details that weigh on a bride's mind, and Doug, the groom, was concerned about her being upset. My aunt came to tell him that his bride looked "beautiful." He sighed contently and smiled, and then immediately asked, "But is she happy?" Later during the reception as I was helping my aunt to pour punch, Leah stopped to look straight at her mother and say, "Everything is perfect. Thank you, so much."
Small moments like those remind me of the type of beauty and love I pray I learn to share with those in my life. Congratulations and blessings, Doug and Leah. :)
December 21, 2009
Celebration Outfit!
Here's what I'll be wearing to my cousin's wedding this evening:
-Brown, purple, and red paisley dress from Kohl's
-Black sweater from Kohl's-Red t-strap heels from Payless ($7, I was so syked when I found them!)
-Black tights from Target
-Chunky pearls from Charter Club at Macy's
The blog title indicates not just my celebration of Leah's wedding, but of the fact that this is the first short dress I've worn in weeks due to a painful outbreak of eczema on my legs and arms. I've been hiding under long sleeves and pants, and feel very happy to brave the cold in this cheerful outfit today! :-)
December 20, 2009
"You're real!"
Today I saw Indiana by daylight. It's sooo flat! The land stretches on in sight toward the horizon, until interrupted by a forest or a silo. We are in a rural area; dead corn stumps and grain fields peek through the thick dusting of snow that recently fell here. Large, well-kept farm houses are set back from the road, and we saw several acres of wind turbines and several up-to-date graineries.
We slept in today, ate the hotel continental breakfast, and reveled in feeling rested and warm after yesterday's stressful trek. The hotel is really one of the nicest I've ever stayed; a Best Western in Monticello, IN with many amenities and affordable prices. In the afternoon we made a short drive to a small church in Francesville and reunited with my aunt, uncle, and two cousins. My cousin Leah, the bride, jumped up when I walked into the sanctuary, hugged me and shouted "Oh my God you're here! I haven't seen you in ten years! You're real!!" Hehehe, I squeezed her back and we each squealed some more while everyone stared at us. My brother and I have been enlisted as wedding staff; he to run sound and I to light the altar and pew candles.
The ceremony was rehearsed successfully, the reception hall decorated, and then we all enjoyed a satisfying dinner at an Olive Garden. My dad is the wedding photographer, so he was snapping away as we all reunited and worked. After dinner, my parents and brother and I headed back to the hotel, finding on the way a farm that was entirely festooned in Christmas lights and open to passersby. Now I'm cozy and sleepy, and excited for the big day tomorrow! :)
We slept in today, ate the hotel continental breakfast, and reveled in feeling rested and warm after yesterday's stressful trek. The hotel is really one of the nicest I've ever stayed; a Best Western in Monticello, IN with many amenities and affordable prices. In the afternoon we made a short drive to a small church in Francesville and reunited with my aunt, uncle, and two cousins. My cousin Leah, the bride, jumped up when I walked into the sanctuary, hugged me and shouted "Oh my God you're here! I haven't seen you in ten years! You're real!!" Hehehe, I squeezed her back and we each squealed some more while everyone stared at us. My brother and I have been enlisted as wedding staff; he to run sound and I to light the altar and pew candles.
The ceremony was rehearsed successfully, the reception hall decorated, and then we all enjoyed a satisfying dinner at an Olive Garden. My dad is the wedding photographer, so he was snapping away as we all reunited and worked. After dinner, my parents and brother and I headed back to the hotel, finding on the way a farm that was entirely festooned in Christmas lights and open to passersby. Now I'm cozy and sleepy, and excited for the big day tomorrow! :)
Rehearsal Outfit
I'll make a few brief fashion entries from my trip!
Here's what I wore today for decorating/rehearsal/dinner for my cousin's wedding:
Belt and sweater dress from Forever 21
Skinny jeans from Macy's
Brown leather flat boots by Hot Kiss at Famous Footwear
And the facebook album from my last entry is being updated daily with trip pictures!
Here's what I wore today for decorating/rehearsal/dinner for my cousin's wedding:
Belt and sweater dress from Forever 21
Skinny jeans from Macy's
Brown leather flat boots by Hot Kiss at Famous Footwear
And the facebook album from my last entry is being updated daily with trip pictures!
Indiana Chronicles
Hopefully this will work! Click here for the Facebook link to my pictures. I'll continue to update it until we get home.
My brother and I have also been making some funny videos..Might try to post those at a later time!
My brother and I have also been making some funny videos..Might try to post those at a later time!
December 19, 2009
Hoosierness
We made it safely to Indiana! We left Maryland around 4am in a blizzard, and have been on the road (with two meal breaks) since then. We got settled in the hotel about an hour ago, and I've had about 4 hours sleep in two days. The Audrey book and my iPod, coupled with texting Nathan off and on for hours at a time, made the day pass by. We ate brunch and dinner at Cracker Barrels; one in Pennsylvania and one in Indiana. My relatives are about 20 mins away, and tomorrow I see my aunt, uncle, and two cousins for the first time in 8 years! I'm sure after I get more sleep, I'll be more excited. Pics in the morning, maybe. <3
December 17, 2009
Epic Traveling Items
Here is what I am taking with me to make the long drive and hotel stay bearable!~My [red] iPod
~My awesome new phone (Samsung Impression; it has a touch screen!)
~My laptop
~A bag of dark chocolate from dear Shannon
~A stack of scripts that I have to judge for the Barnstormers' playwright contest
~"The Night The Songs Sang". It's a Christmas anthology. I read it every Christmas, usually while snuggled in my bed late at night.
~"Audrey Style", which Nathan gave me to read on my trip.
Add in a tooth brush and a fabulous outfit for my cousin's wedding, and I think I'm all set!
Quote of the Day
"Now that finals are over I have nothing to procrastinate about. My life is so empty."
-Me. :p
-Me. :p
December 16, 2009
My First Gift of the Season
Had to pop back in the share this with all my fellow Audrey fans on my blog roll:
"Audrey Style" by Pamela Clark Keogh. It's a "style biography" revealing Audrey as not just a fashionista but as a person. It includes interviews from Hubert de Givenchy, Gregory Peck, Nancy Reagan, and more. Also has gorgeous full page pictures.
This book was an early Christmas gift from my other gift of the season, my wonderful boyfriend. :-* I look forward to enjoying both my gifts! :-D
Countdown
One more final and then I'm free for 5 weeks!...and then we leave for a drive from Maryland to Kentucky to Indiana...and then we drive back for Christmas...and then we drive up to stay in Pennsylvania for a weekend.
On the downside, I am tired and things are only going to get more tiring. On the upside, I will have plenty to blog about!
On the downside, I am tired and things are only going to get more tiring. On the upside, I will have plenty to blog about!
December 10, 2009
December 2, 2009
Patterns and Progress
I am in my third semester of college, and see a pattern emerging. Every semester about this time (two or three weeks left) I start staying up late, having some sort of health problem, get involved in a non-academic project, write a paper I dread (though I have an unreasonable dread of most of my papers :p), and deal with some sort of major social or relationship issue. It's less than two weeks until finals, and all of the above is happening. Lovely.
I was going to end with the above, but that seems too harsh. Good things are happening, and I've grown enough to look for good things and fixate on those instead of my problems. Nathan and I have hung out a lot lately, and that always makes for a good day in Debbie Land. Barnstormers is in the midst of rehearsals for our variety show (opening December 3rd) and I was really encouraged by how things went tonight. Final dress rehearsal is tomorrow and I'm content to say the show is what it is and I'm not going to stress about it. I've started my next psychology paper a week before it's due instead of the day before, and it's shaping up to be interesting...(I didn't say good or pleasant, just interesting). I finished all the test work needed for computer class a week early (this was after coming to the class three weeks into the semester, so I'm pretty happy with myself).
I'm going to stop stalling, and continue listening to Dashboard, while reading about Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development. Good night.
I was going to end with the above, but that seems too harsh. Good things are happening, and I've grown enough to look for good things and fixate on those instead of my problems. Nathan and I have hung out a lot lately, and that always makes for a good day in Debbie Land. Barnstormers is in the midst of rehearsals for our variety show (opening December 3rd) and I was really encouraged by how things went tonight. Final dress rehearsal is tomorrow and I'm content to say the show is what it is and I'm not going to stress about it. I've started my next psychology paper a week before it's due instead of the day before, and it's shaping up to be interesting...(I didn't say good or pleasant, just interesting). I finished all the test work needed for computer class a week early (this was after coming to the class three weeks into the semester, so I'm pretty happy with myself).
I'm going to stop stalling, and continue listening to Dashboard, while reading about Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development. Good night.
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