Why Would I Accept My Worst, Anyway?

There's been an article circulating The Face Book for a couple days that I finally got around to clicking on. The previewed topic greatly interested me.  There's a certain "empowerment" quote I see a lot that has always bothered me but I could never define why.  You'll find out all about it if you follow the link. Thank you to this man for hitting the nail on the head.  

If I Can't Accept You at Your Worst, Then Maybe You Should Stop Being So Horrible

Doesn't it all come down to, treat others as you would want to be treated?  If you would never accept mediocre love and care from a partner or friend, why tell them they have to accept it from you? 

My favourite part of Walsh's argument was this excerpt: 

"Love is a transformative force, and if you want to experience it you better be ready to change in every way imaginable. My wife does not "accept me," and thank God for that. She challenges me. She makes me better. In other words, she loves me.

What kind of a pathetic and dreary goal is that, anyway -- just wanting to be "accepted," tolerated, put up with? That's not why we're put on this planet. Life is not about gaining "acceptance." Life is change. It is not static and stagnant, do you really want your relationships to be?"

Thoughts?  May we strive for more than acceptance...

-DB

Where The End Runs Into The Beginning

My quest for my first college degree is over!  I'll have my final grades soon, and everything will officially culminate on June 3rd at graduation.

The only thing going according to my plans right now has been in finishing school.  I can't really unravel in public everything that I'm struggling with, but I did want to share a quote that is currently valuable to me:

"Silently and imperceptibly, as we work or sleep, we grow strong or we grow weak; and at last some crisis show us what we have become." (B.F. Westcott)

A crisis has hit me quite unexpectedly, and right now I'm working on figuring out what I have become.  Summer feels empty and the future feels unsure.

Blurbs of Accomplishment

Hey friends!  First up on the Blurb agenda, a few thoughts that really struck me today: 

I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs, but how high he bounces when he hits bottom. -George Patton

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back

-Dale Carnegie 

I'm shocked to realize that this semester is almost over.  A month from now, finals will be complete.  At that point, I will have worked on four plays, completed a semester as honor society chapter president, and be one semester away from graduation. 

In the past few months I've been told many times "You look so healthy these days!" or "You look really happy, Debbie."  Hearing that is affirmation that my goals and hard work are taking me down a good path, and that a lot of emotional baggage that I've worked to lay down is in the dust on the path at my back.

I leave you for now with some pictures. :-)

QOTD

Via ThoughtCatalog.com

"You can grow up anytime you want. You can do it at 20, 25, or 40. It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with age. Growing up just means deleting things and people who are bad for you. It means taking care of business, taking care of yourself, and not repeating the same mistakes. Everyone has their own growing up to do. It does not mean you have to drink Earl Grey every night, get a cat and be in bed by 11." -Ryan O'Connell

(I don't own a cat yet, but I have been going to bed pretty early, and Earl Grey happens to be delicious! :-p)

My New Anthem

To break up the Bat Boy monotony, here's something new.  I discovered "The Cave" a few weeks ago (via the Bat Boy musical director, actually :-p).  As I sat at my kitchen table listening to this song for the first time, it was like hearing a battle cry from my heart shouted across a still, grassy plain.  The words aren't religious in the conventional sense, but listening to this is a spiritual experience for me. 



P.S.  I missed the Grammys and had no clue this was the song they performed that everyone was raving about, but I'm glad they got such deserved press.  :-)

Three Things To Know

My church has a daily reflection series called "Join the Journey".  My blog entry today is adapted from one of those articles.

Have you ever felt something similar to this?  "What I was afraid of has come upon me.  What filled me with fear has happened.  I am not at rest, and I am not quiet."  (Job 3:25-26, NLT)  A man named Job went through a time of extreme trial and suffering, and for a time, thought that God had forgotten about him.

Hurting people need to understand God's character.  There are three valuable things about God's character that we should to know to help us through devastating circumstances. 

1) God knows what I am going through. He is not surprised. Psalm 56:8 says, "You have recorded my troubles. You have kept a list of my tears". When you are hurting you need to hear this: God knows us! Our pain is no surprise.

2) God cares about what I am going through.  "As a father has compassion for his children, the Lord has compassion for those who fear him" (Psalm 103:13). God cares when we are in pain. He wants to heal us. He loves us on our good days and bad days; when we are right and wrong; when we serve him and not. His love is unconditional.

3. God can change me and change my situation. This is the best news! Sometimes He changes me, or sometimes He changes my situation. In Eph. 1:19, Paul says, "I pray that you will begin to understand how incredibly great His power is to help those who believe him". God will work to remove the fear and heal the pain in our lives. Not only does He want to do it, He has the power to do it!

Understanding God's character gave me the courage to overcome fear and pain.  Be encouraged today by the one who gave His life for you to be set free. Job did, and in the end, it made all the difference.  :-)

image credit

To read the full article, go here.

A Perfect House

"Frodo was now safe in the Last Homely House east of the Sea.  That house was...'a perfect house, whether you like food or sleep or storytelling or singing, or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all'.  Merely to be there was a cure for weariness, fear, and sadness."

After weeks of being pursued by fear, plagued by worry, and pierced with a deadly wound, Frodo Baggins found temporary respite from his journey at the House of Elrond.

There are two places that are my "homely house"- my church, and inside a sincere hug.  May we all find a place on our journey that takes away our weariness and comforts our fears.

(Quote taken from "The Fellowship of the Ring" by J.R.R. Tolkien)

Currently Thinking On

I find inspiration, encouragement, and wisdom from many sources.  These thoughts are currently resonating with me.

"There are songs, I'll never write,
Because of you, walking out of my life.
There are words, that don't belong,
Because of you, I'll never write another love song."
-Art of War by Anberlin


"Perhaps instead of asking questions of our trials, our trials are meant to ask questions of us."
-Hadassah in "One Night With The King"


"When she took her eyes off of these things, and put them on the main thing, she got her life back instantly."
-Youth pastor at my church, in reference to Leah's pursuit to be loved by Jacob and her surrender to God's love.


Today I had no class because my professor is observing the Jewish new year, and I took off work.  I finally got some much needed sleep.  I now have a Word document open in which I have typed up categories for what I consider the commitments and priorities in my life.  Under the categories I listed the actions or duties needed for said activity.  I'm trying to clearly evaluate all that have I going on, whether I can add more, and if I'm adequately attending to what I'm already responsible for.  I think I've found that I'm not overly-committed, but that I simply need to better use or maximize the time I have for all my committments.   Once I get it all straight in my head, I may share here (or not, because who reading this really cares? :-p)  I'm also planning a post for interesting things I've learned so far in my sociology class.

What I Do While Staying Happy

Last Monday morning I set my Facebook status to "Debbie plans to think lots of happy thoughts this week!"  I'm pleased to say, I followed through on that plan.  It's so much easier to whine, wallow, or otherwise despair about the bad things that happen to us, but I don't want to be any unhealthier than I am already am, physically or mentally.  While I was busy trying to think those happy thoughts, I had lots of things to do.

Preparing for and working at rehearsals has kept me busy.  I'm stage managing "The Perfume Counter", a one-act play written by a CCBC student.  I am very anxious about being a good stage manager, so I've probably been slightly overly-prepared. However, I take pride in pleasing cast and director, filling out my rehearsal reports in a timely manner, learning to mark a stage with spike tape according to a ground plan, and being a help to the first-time director (who is also the playwright).  It's really been fun so far!  Rehearsals and classes dictate that I'll be spending seven days a week on-campus during the month of September, and I'm not really looking forward to that.  The show runs the last weekend of September, and then I'll be free!  (and hopefully not sick of school already. :-p)

Nathan and I chilled at his house yesterday (we normally go to mine) and decided to watch some movies.  We cracked open the BBC version of "The Chronicles of Narnia".  I remember fondly taking those movies out of my church's library over and over when I was young.  Watching them yesterday however, didn't invoke only warm and fuzzy memories.  These were made in the late 1980's, and I've definitely become one of those in my generation ruined by CGI animation that adorns today's movies with a paintball-like bombardment.  My younger self didn't realize that BBC's Aslan was an animatronic lion, and didn't care that most of the mythical creatures were hand-drawn in pencil and layed over the live-action film.  At the time I also didn't know that Mr. and Mrs Beaver were full grown humans in costumes, while real beavers are the size of small dogs.  As Nate put it, watching these movies yesterday was like "having my childhood assaulted...in the face...with a 2x4." (His metaphors are priceless :-p)  I envy children for their strong knack at suspension of disbelief!  I think I'll stick to my beloved (and well-worn) paperback copies of the series.  I totally nerded out by explaining all the missing details that Nathan didn't know! :-)

At work, the campus is buzzing with preparations for the fall semester.  It's interesting watching all the teachers come back attending meetings and conferences in their various moods and personalities.  I've made just enough money this summer to stay on top of my bills, but didn't save any money as I hoped to.  I applied for a job that greatly excited me, but it's looking as if that isn't going to develop into anything fruitful for now.  I did spend some time talking to our Student Life advisor about the job and also about my resume and my work experience.  She said that she definitely thinks I have great qualifications and accomplishments, so that made me happy.

As you can see, I'm making the most of the end of my summer, in both work and play.  I'm looking forward to a productive weekend!

Sounds Truly Crazy; And True, The Vision's Hazy

I've been hiding away from the scorching summer days in a chilly office, surrounded by pleasant people and doing little of significance.  I fill the copier, run to the vending machine, appease irritated students, make nice with demanding professors, and spy on the world via the glass-fronted office and my computer screen.  Then my sandals echo through empty hallways and I go home.

Debbie- "I'm restless today.  Something inside me wants to do something important.

Nathan- "But you're at work.  That's important, isn't it?"

D- "Not really.  Not in that sense.  But yes.

N- "Important like what?"

D- "Important like...my brain would feel like it climbed a mountain. and then someone takes a picture that I'll look at ten years from now, and feel good about what I did."

N- "You want a project- Something to put effort into?

D- "Yes?  Yes."

He recommended I make a list of challenging things that need doing or repairing and then offered to help me with it.  He's so sweet. :-)  But my longing goes so much deeper than that.  I just can't put it into words. 

On a lighter note, today made me think of this dialogue from Gilmore Girls:

LORELAI: Michel, we've been over this, we all cover the phone, that includes you.
MICHEL: Don't misunderstand. I want to answer it, I truly did, but today, today I am suffering from ennui.
LORELAI: Ennui?
MICHEL: Severe ennui. You know what ennui is, yes?
LORELAI: Yes. Um, Webster's defines ennui as a lazy soon to be out of work French concierge who won't answer the phone.
MICHEL: Look, I've had my peace with the fact that everyone who calls here is a notch above brain dead, and that the pennies I am thrown each week are in exchange for me dealing with these people in a nonviolent manner. And usually that is fine, but today, sorry lady, I have ennui.

*Sigh*  Work tomorrow morning, then shooting pool and eating lunch with Boyfriend in the afternoon!  If my days can't always have life-altering significance, at least they are pleasant.  


Post title is from the song "The Wizard and I".

Love Is Like Home

This is one of my all-time favourite movie quotes about love. Sleepless in Seattle is such a good movie. :-)

Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: "Tell me what was so special about your wife?"

Sam Baldwin: "Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were suppose to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic."

Lines That Ring True

I've been sorting through months worth of ticket stubs, receipts, hair pins, mints, reminders, perfume bottles, and sundry other items cluttered around my room while watching "Breakfast At Tiffany's". :-)

There are so many quotable quotes in that darling flick, including:

"It pays to be top banana in the shock department."

"It should take you four seconds to walk out that door...I'll give you two."

"He's not just a rat, he's a Super Rat!"

"The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?"

The one about the mean reds pops into my head from time to time. But my favourite line from the movie is undeniably, "no matter where you run, you're always going to end up running into yourself."

http://xkcd.com/610/

Relationships aren't easy (or are they?)

Feedback wanted on a thought from church today: "Stop having a relationship with Jesus."

It is important to have more than just a relationship with Jesus? Do we instead need to understand "abiding" in Jesus?

I heard it put this way: Many different levels of human interaction can be called a "relationship." You have a relationship with someone you golf or shop or jog with, and you have a relationship with the person you're married too. The levels of closeness differ, but it's all relationship.

"Abiding" however, is what Jesus talked about in John 15. Or like a baby in the womb, who does not just have a relationship with his mother, but cannot exist with her. That baby literally abides within its mother.

It's easy to have a relationship with Jesus- if it means visiting church, praying when I'm sad, singing songs, etc. Abiding is hard, and definitely something I'm struggling with. As the pastor put it this morning, it's possible to live without Jesus if all we want is a relationship.

But what would my life look like if I were abiding in Him?

"Perfection Wasted"

And another regrettable thing about death
is the ceasing of your own brand of magic,
which took a whole life to develop and market-
the quips, the witticisms, the slant
adjusted to a few, those loved ones nearest
the lip of the stage, their soft faces blanched
in the footlight glow, their laughter close to tears,
their warm pooled breath in and out with your heartbeat,
their response and your performance twinned.
The jokes over the phone. The memories packed
in the rapid-access file. The whole act.
Who will do it again? That's it: no one;
imitators and descendants aren't the same.

This is by John Updike, a writer who died yesterday. The poem was published in Willow Manor today, and it touched me so much I wanted to pass it on! :)