Trying

I've hardly slept in two days.  I've seen two different doctors today.  I'm getting bloodwork done next week which will confirm or deny a Celiac's Disease diagnosis, and also additional bloodwork for hyperthyroidism testing.  I finally a name for the type of eczema I have, and an explanation for why I continually develop infections on my legs and arms.  I feel guilty as I watch my mother spend more and more money on my treatments and dietary needs. I dread seeing people, and don't bother unless absolutely necessary to leave my house.  I met a compassionate angel in the form of an urgent care nurse.  I was reminded that I have incredibly thoughtful and nonjudgemental friends.  I know that knowledge is power, even when it's scary.  I am trying to believe that hell on earth doesn't last forever, that things could always be worse, and that I am courageous and beautiful.